Awful Band Picture #3: Third Day

Dear Christian Rock darlings Third Day,

Where was your God when the photographer went as generic as possible with your press photo?

The lead singer at the forefront with his arms behind his back? Check!

Everyone wearing black? Check!

No smiling because your music is really fuckin' serious, like, seriously dude? Check!

Well, good for you. You just took a generic and awful band photograph.

Go pray on it and do better next time.

Awful Band Picture #2: Train

By request...we have the band Train. Now, the person who requested that I critique an awful band photograph of Train obviously assumed that an awful picture of Train would exist. But look at this. A very creative and interesting picture. I mean, this kind of picture has NEVER been done! All black clothing? How innovative! Avoiding eye contact with the camera? Why, I've never seen that one before! This picture is the exact opposite of awful.

Questions that this provoking photograph provokes:

What's front-and-center man pawing at in his pocket? Mashed potatoes? 48 cents in pennies?

What's Hat Guy pawing at in his pocket? His diddle biscuit. I'm sure of it.

And lastly, why is Howie Mandel in this photograph, and why is awkwardly crossing his arms? Did the photographer administer one too many tittie twisters? Maybe that's why they all look so morose...